1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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