Kiss
Puke
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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