i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize