i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
send nudes
from the living room?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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