I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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