Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize