I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
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I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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