Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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