Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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