im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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