Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize