You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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