I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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