When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
try to milk me bitch
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