theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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