My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize