I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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