i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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