thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think my moral compass just broke
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize