He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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