I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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