I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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