So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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