D3 body, D1 cock
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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