This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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