thus making me awesome and them whores
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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