Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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