You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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