where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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