this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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