so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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