we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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