I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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