Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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