i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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