I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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