when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize