I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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