so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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