my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize