i need an iv and a liver transplant
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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