You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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