mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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