i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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