She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize