Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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