I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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