I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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