Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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