i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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